She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
