what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
