okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
