ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
