I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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