i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
