Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
