me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"