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come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
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