Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
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I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..