ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?