I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.