I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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