Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Hey, what are you up to?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.

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  (831): Hey, what are you up to? (802): Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds. (802): Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard. http://tfl.nu/ope5
  Replies (16) Good night (2562) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did you fuck her?

  (212): View more from New York

  If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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  (703): Did you fuck her? (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that. http://tfl.nu/y42g
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (3030)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

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  (218): My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles. http://tfl.nu/kfaj
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (3176)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (840) Good night (143766) Bad night (9783)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass

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  (503): i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass http://tfl.nu/zsw3
  Replies (25) Good night (1263) Bad night (3324)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed

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  (863): if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/59ub
  Replies (8) Good night (5392) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong

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  (216): We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong http://tfl.nu/i4ch
  Replies (15) Good night (1421) Bad night (4336)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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  (703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece
  Replies (12) Good night (2369) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.

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  (907): Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender. http://tfl.nu/w5e6
  Replies (10) Good night (1120) Bad night (1762)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.

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  (314): I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise. http://tfl.nu/47tp
  Replies (13) Good night (2010) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month

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  (517): well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month http://tfl.nu/fhen
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.

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  (813): Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich. http://tfl.nu/j6pr
  Replies (10) Good night (1683) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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  (954): I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it? http://tfl.nu/xt0t
  Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night

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  (314): Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night http://tfl.nu/13rl
  Replies (8) Good night (894) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.

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  (740): Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/rt7w
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (175)

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