your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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