What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
