My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
