i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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