Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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