in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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