I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
