Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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