this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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