do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
