so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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