This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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