I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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