Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
