dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am available for nakedness
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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