take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
