I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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