There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
