Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
