no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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