Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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