My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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