i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
