This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
