Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
