My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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