i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
