Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
