I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
two words: eviction party
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
