Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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