Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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