The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
