The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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