at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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