your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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