I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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