I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize
