Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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