I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
