he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I supernannyed him into submission
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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