He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
