How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
