i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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