I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
