I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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