He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
