Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
