Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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