I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
