Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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