Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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