She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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