I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
