saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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