Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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