How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
