Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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