good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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