i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
