The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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