Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
