I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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