Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize