my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My dad is sitting where you rode me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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