he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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