Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
