either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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