During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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